We’re constantly hearing people talk about these “love languages,” but do you really know what it’s all about? What’s so special or important about your love language? Well, today we’re going to break it all down for you. Let’s start with the basics. There are 5 main love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Knowing what your and your partner’s love languages are will help grow and improve your relationship. How? Knowing their love language will help you learn how they best feel and embrace your love! Maybe their love language is words of affirmation and yours is physical touch. You may be demonstrating behaviors that make you feel loved, but not what make them feel loved! While it’s important to practice all love languages, you’ll each have one or two that are most important to you. Let’s dig deeper into what each language means.
Words of Affirmation
This is exactly what it sounds like it is! Make sure your partner feels appreciated by verbalizing your love for them. Whether it’s always remembering to tell them “I love you,” or simple compliments, the verbal reinforcement is key. It’s important to use different reasons and phrases as well. Instead of always saying “I love you” say “I love you because…” or note things about their personality that make you love them (“I love how you always cheer me up when I’m in a bad mood”). On the opposite end of the spectrum, it’s important to watch what negative words you use. They’ll hold a lot of value and power and will not be easily forgotten.
Acts of Service
Have you ever heard the phrase “actions speak louder than words?” This couldn’t be more true for someone whose love language is acts of service. Everyone loves being told that they’re loved, but for these individuals, you need to show them how much you love them. Whether it’s helping out around the house doing laundry or yard work or cooking dinner. Recognize that life is hard and do your part to really make an effort to help out. For someone with acts of service as a love language, laziness and broken promises are major turn-offs, so really put forth your best effort to do little things for your SO.
Now we know how this one looks… but just because someone’s love language is receiving gifts doesn’t mean that they’re materialistic. Really, the gift doesn’t need to be expensive to count. It’s more about the thought behind the gift! In order to give someone a gift, you have to be thinking about that person. It shows that you care and are thinking about them even when they’re not around.
Quality time is just that… quality! This doesn’t mean watching TV or a movie together. This means real, true, uninterrupted and distraction-free time together. Sitting on the couch having a heartfelt conversation and looking at one another, or going for a walk around the neighborhood -- even a date night out can work for this situation. The main focus is on your partner. No phones, just undivided attention on one another. On the other side of the coin, people with this love language are easily hurt by distractions being present, dates being postponed, or you not paying attention/remembering general conversations shared. Really focus on giving them your full attention and showing that you care.
For many people, having that physical connection is vital to a strong and healthy relationship. This isn’t just limited to the bedroom, either. Hand holding, sweet kisses, loving caresses, and the like are also important. This doesn’t necessarily require an over-the-top level of PDA, but make sure you’re demonstrating enough physical connection to make your partner happy. This will translate to them feeling safe and secure in your relationship. Lack of physical touch can really affect the self-esteem of your partner if this is their primary love language.